In winter 2012, I had a fairly good idea what I wanted out of
my next trip: archaeological parks, moderate weather, and a low price-tag.
On most of my trips, fully 2/3 of the budget goes toward
transit, so somewhere with affordable ground transport and airfare was my best solution
to keep prices down. Not to put too fine
a point on it, but I needed to stay in my own hemisphere, probably north of the
equator. I also wasn’t looking for
another jaunt in the Caribbean so soon after visiting the Bahamas, and island
hopping doesn’t really appeal to me. I
am not a beach person.
So anyway, no islands.
And not Mexico again. I love
Mexico, but I spent a lot of time there as a child, and I wanted to try something
new. Realistically, that left Central America.
But where in Central America? I
spent Kinky Thanksgiving (exactly what it says on the label) listening to a
friend regale me with details about the cloud rainforests of Costa Rica…. It sounded
good!
With a vague idea that I intended to leave in autumn 2014, I
started researching some options. As always,
time away from the office was the primary obstacle. No big deal – just yuppie problems. So nowhere that I couldn’t get in under a
half day of flying. Costa Rica was still
in the running… then I spent 5 minutes on Google. Costa Ricans have every right to charge prime
money from tourists – their country is amazing – but it would have blown a hole
a mile wide into my carefully cultivated savings.
Frustrated, I dug deeper.
Was Costa Rica worth it? They touted some of the world’s best
zip-lining, mountain climbing, horseback riding, white water rafting, bungee
jumping… but those aren’t really my scene.
Besides, they kind of seem like a waste of money. Yeah,
great, you have a killer story about the time that you jumped down a canyon
attached to a safety line…. Personally, I’m much more interested in finding
out what formed the canyon in the first place than spending $50 to look at it
very quickly, upside-down, screaming.
I’d still like to spend some time in the Cloud Rainforests,
because the ecology looks amazing, but I’m thinking that’s something I can do
if I ever scrape together the balls to live out my dream and drive the
Pan-American Highway. Instead, I started
looking at the other Central American countries.
Guatemala stood out immediately. Maybe it’s selfish of me to say, but I really
loved the idea of visiting places where the Mayan and Colonial cultures had
blended so thoroughly. Guatemala
promised an intoxicating blend of Euro Trash, local tradition, massive ruins,
and global commerce. They had everything
I wanted, which – after giving it some thought – wasn’t all that much: an
excellent bus network and pyramids. My
God, the pyramids.
I started planning like a fiend. You can’t really get the
full measure of a city – never mind a whole country – in just 2 weeks, but I that
was all the vacation time I had. Needs
must, it would seem. In retrospect, I
felt a bit like Cassandra though my planning phase. I kept telling people – “come to Guatemala
with me, it will be amazing!” and nobody ever believed me. The most common reaction was “Why would you
ever want to go to Guatemala?” with “Is this a volunteering thing?” in short
succession.
Why the hell would anyone NOT want to go to Guatemala? What
terrible thing has gone so wrong in their lives that they’ve given up on
curiosity? The whole trip cost less than $1,000. That’s less than most people spend on their
annual cell phone plan!
I’m sick to death of people telling me that they’d travel
with me if it was a trip to someplace interesting, like Europe. Not even a specific
country, just Europe. I’ll go back some day, when I have the luxury
of cash or time (you need one of the two, but ideally both, to do it right),
and I’ll drive from Munich to Prague; I’ll visit the acropolis; I’ll dance in
Budapest; I’ll eat my weight in carbs in the north of Italy; I’ll see Austria
and Switzerland and the fjords in Norway; I’ll return to Paris and London and
Rome and Prague and I’ll do all the tourist spots without the slightest hint of
irony.
But in 2014, I wanted Central America, and Guatemala turned out
to be the best decision I could possibly have made.
