If upon a Reading Day you should wander, let us say...
Toward the Witmer Parking lot, at around three o’clock,
There within you should find a sight to really rock your mind:
The Reds leave their Southern Dorms and there prepare to enter War.
They dribble, drip, hemorrhage out – clot the road from tip to spout.
Barbaric North, in icy blue, compiles in Miller Meadow, too.
With icy faces, snowy hearts, they blizzard out - prepare to start.
All make the hike across the land to battle with their rival clan.
The Gen’ral cries for all to hear, and the soldiers answer clear:
HUAH! HUAH! HUAH! They beat their shields, heft their swords,
Going to the Duct Tape Wars.
And in the year twenty-nine Our Lord, there was a clash as ne’er before.
A purple haze, a muddy gore, cardboard flying o’er the hoard.
A wave, a lull, a second charge – and then the ambush, green and large!
From the Starry Fields there came an ivy scream and Greens insane.
A force against the norm’s enthuse: the Reds and Blues were forc’d to fuse
Their might against the Big-Green-Mean, and as such we lay the scene.
The Reds and Blues, once combined, charged the Greens from all sides.
A bedlam, true, and welts abound - their backs bled and bath’d the ground.
With nay a hope for peace in sight, their heroes came to sway the fight.
A grand-green Mean and blue-blood Barb met upon the field’s heart,
And as the Watchers circl’d round no joyless faces could be found.
It quickly turn’d from joy to pain as the battle’s climax came:
To throw the sword and kick the head, this is what the college dreads.
They had us sign a standard form to save the school from legal harm,
To vow their to love and full respect, lest someone tarnish them a speck.
But kick they did and throw - they must!- and so's the heroes' battle-trust:
To rally troops and please the crowd, to make us all a wee-bit proud.
They charg’d again, and ran amok, and in the end they shared a hug.
So listen well and listen good: stop by and watch us, if you could.
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